Bittersweet Anchors Caught in My Heart

False genuine eyes behind the connection you voiced—

When I remember to retract words you regarded me writing 

I wish I felt more triumphant in reclaiming my voice

For shared delightful hindsight to vacate my sights 

leaving such a secret void in your safest sighs of starlight 

could only mean I’ve always been dreaming self-confined… 

 

Extended time has cherry-picked her desired effects 

I’m still steeling myself against unprecedented shipwrecks 

False compromise carried out long enough 

elusive bonds left bittersweet anchors caught in my heart…

Carrie Gilbert 2024

To Claim My Ceased Forever

My heart lies loose in this steel chest

I’ve rejected past resolutions yet

to this increasingly empty resolve I must confess—

As I turn through this in-between time frame 

I allow my awareness to tap into serendipitous warmth 

with such quiet shades of wonder and pain…

 

My subconscious serenaded by unclaimed flights of fancy

I fall for this trifecta of tempting torrential wickedly desirable downpours

Please release my hand so I can finally embrace 

this roar rising to claim my ceased forever…   

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Mirage of Make-believe

Tiny waves of my daydreams returned yesterday—  

An abrupt rippling in the tranquil lake of May  

Their unprompted inquiries left unconscious spirals of spiritual depletion    

decoding abstract descriptions refusing to cling to my skin…

 

When you’ve always loved out of bounds as a distant star

home-spun desires grow into lavish empires 

your mind depleted from existing so frequently in lands afar—

In this mirage of make-believe the results of your laboriously laid-down love

become indistinguishable from forever yours and all is lost…

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Feelings Feigned

Feelings feign their sources in my disconnected presence

images confiscating confident assessments 

their unmatched edges denying this well-defined concentrated mind

her reasonable conclusions on love’s unjustified illusions by which to re-write…

 

I’m torn between the non-threatening impressions 

of your theatrically convincing scenes  

and how you suddenly fled when my scattered scars showed 

shattering our connection at the seams…

 

As a leftover unlocked lovely lane

I unfold cracks of your acute to astounded attention 

still perplexed by secret misgivings you’ve neglected to mention…

 

With feelings never feigned 

I remain for granted and removed from the foreground…   

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Water-logged Lashes

These water-logged lashes under wanderlust dreams

unnaturally unfolding my hands to allow consciousness’s streams

If I were voiceless would your void be truly restful?

I’d bear the cost of a lighthouse lost 

for your patient co-existence with this dying dreamer’s soul…

 

These foggy-eyed epiphanies under the crash and burn of feeling at home

I cannot rely on your distant hands to resurrect such indistinctly laid plans 

always mine and never truly yours to own—

I’m on the brink of waves breaking with balance forsaken

amassing betrayal while still hungrily holding my breath until awash in love…  

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Soul Companion

A soul companion by virtue of her name

Mother steadies your heart with a single breath from her synchronized waves

Ever configuring the confounding threads of your world- 

Lunar phase lullabies and sunshine-infused stories

accompanied with love along each silent storm we weather…

 

An angel waiting in the wings of time

she’s the precious love behind each turn in the perilous journey 

on which only her unconditional understanding 

sheds the most loving light…

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Venture

I venture to verify an all-encompassing investment in their eyes—

Hostage to hesitation’s indecision my lightly applied precision too pristine 

Murmurs of the heart avoiding this microscopic view of my veins 

sustaining vast enough room for sorrow and splendour

vilified for taming my words into tenderness— 

 

I’ll venture the ultimate risk 

the rest of my eternity’s spent in shared bliss…    

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Soul Suppressed

Is your strength in sensitivity soul suppressed 

or is this nothing more than nostalgic regret?

To think a stranger knew my secret turns of phrase— 

Pages turned left bereft 

partial truth poisoning complete fiction

I’ll reclaim despite the denial of your quiet ego

Hopeful eyes on the brink of preserved tears 

now having lent them a few years must unlock the gate

Replenishing mystique and wonder where my silent mind left them behind

Unjustified reactions to your sudden contraction of light 

allowed me to ruin my dreamscapes 

escaping through windows reopened in your growing admiration—

Your shadow an invisible memory while I’m your former adorer 

You’re a spirit sadly unclaimed rejecting the true status of your name… 

Carrie Gilbert 2024

A Thousand Shades of Sunset Transformations

The slightest self-soothing sigh grounds my interrupted sights 

Taming the waves of this bridge in the sky gradually I navigate her heights—

Re-imaginings upon raindrops redirecting my doubt in the delightful 

Rainbow windows prepare spiritual homes beyond the clouds

I bashfully fall into my becoming 

sweetly bathed in the balm of your song’s introduction…

 

I’ve been bound by bemusement—now bared for beautifully broken 

infused provisions of this overreaching to overcoming survivor soul—

Implementing planetary protection into our fantastical fated connection 

living by the word of thunder’s varied yet most vulnerable echoes 

turned into a thousand shades of sunset transformations…    

Carrie Gilbert 2024

Emulate Elixirs

Detached descriptors quietly emulate elixirs

I falsify perseverance remaining paused at the prologue to my performance   

This light I linger in to keep in tone with loveliness 

Showing up even on days love quintessentially speaks to me so quietly 

like she left a lifetime ago—enough unfulfilled life in her eyes 

less than ideal outcomes she despised…

 

Fragile figures haunt the shadows of my valiant efforts 

Entrenched in empty threats convinced of the inevitability of scars

yet I’m determined a brave face will replace these cracks in my conscientiousness—  

Requesting my spell-sworn stars for adequate accumulations 

depths required to amplify the solid structure of my story 

reconnecting an inner wisdom innate once again 

embracing external uncertainties…  

Carrie Gilbert 2024