Night of Peace

Time holds on despite intentions
broken and born again
The white moon… she beckons
wishes forgotten—
Hers is the glow of rebirth
The clock keeps time for the weary strangers
hands reaching towards hope—chimes never cease to sway
There’s still a dream within the walls of despair
for if light is your anchor, you must draw your heart there
And if at December’s end, you are sighing
for memories that faded until they died
Remind your soul how love kept you dancing—
find your faith in each new born star, daring to shine
in such heavenly skies…
The stars still spin—they will soothe your shattered heart
for midnight holds the tears which you couldn’t release
These are the sacred hours, where none escapes the love
 which composes ever so sacredly
 the night of peace…
The night of peace birthed for every soul’s release…
Carrie Gilbert 2014

A Thousand Times Lost

A thousand times lost to me
True, I knew the cost inevitably
of feelings ascending, then reeling within me    
rejecting myself for the promise that broke me…
A thousand times lost to me
Why ever would it have to be true?
Deceived so callously by the heart I knew (or never knew)
Illusions coupled with delusions, oh so difficult to reconcile
when you carry old dreams along with a broken smile
Each time the healing broke through
I never expected once again, I would lose you
Once more, I wander the empty rooms in my heart
Once forgotten, twice forgotten, and a thousand times lost
is the one who forsook me, who would take and not take me
Here in these thoughts… something tangible I won’t allow to be
My woe won’t comply to set pain free
…Have I finally reached the end?
where losing refuses to pretend
that it has taken something precious from me?
Am I to know instead, that this is the world in which I will
partake to awake my heart apart from what darkness stills?
Or am I not through losing you
a thousand times in my mind, arresting my heart to this vision untrue?
Where and how and when will memories part?
Will dreams fade away and rearrange themselves to real love’s highest art?
Or will I continue to keep myself within these pains of heart
 a thousand more times lost to something that we aren’t?
Carrie Gilbert 2014