The Last Haunting


You were the last haunting

Passed too long to linger
Came through the wall, became my longing
Decided in my leaving to not fight for feelings
as though your feelings were never there
Maybe I’m too much and I don’t spend enough
time beautifying time
and so time someone’s love cannot spare to be mine
My company, silently warm attempts to love
so that they might try loving me
He was the last haunting
I gave away these soul songs and pretty words too soon
For I was still shaping them,  defining direct and dislocated desperate meaning
So as you leave this dream again,
don’t turn your spirited musings back at me
Because fragment man, I don’t understand
You  didn’t even have the decency
to tell me you would only be another haunting
passed much too long to linger
Why would you let such a beautiful dream
slip right through your weary fingers?
Carrie Gilbert 2013
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Love Instead


I’m asking you to forgo the name society framed for you

Be the change they couldn’t arrange
Though in answer to their pains, swore they wanted to
It’s not too late to save your faith, create the world you choose
I’m asking you when doubt creeps in
And the fear wants to win
Be the change and bring the truth you always knew
Don’t let your heart be torn apart by words that stifle you
Because these forgotten voices speak a truth
Many have never thought could be true
Because they cannot even reach half a star
With those weary clouds, heavy gray in emotion
Hovering over their so conceived helpless heads
But if you only come a little closer, all you beautiful souls
I will show you the life of those dreams in your head
So when fear, darkness and despair have your soul feeling dead
You can awaken your heart and choose love instead…
Carrie Gilbert 2013

Stars Aligned


The way she danced was like a dream

and he told her he would always take her hand
That was the way it was
when they were but adventures in a promised land
The little universe they held within
showed them the truth of the world unfurled
Memories made them feel no longer ghosts
Wings of willfulness to share in messages
of joy that might create love
and love that may inspire joy to emerge
The way he sang was like belief
Held back too long, still more since held so long…
Souls combined were like stars that shined,
All aligned….
Carrie Gilbert 2013   

Dream Together


You and I have dreamed together beneath forgotten stars

In the end, we are always the luckiest
Because we let our passions be released
While others would suppress, keep their weary souls in rest.
You and I have loved the songs within our hearts, broken but never defeated
And I learned to have courage enough to sing, because you listened when needed
You save my soul from deep despairing through the waiting nights
You give back dreams when even little hopes have taken flight.
You and I have dreamed together beneath forgotten stars
In the end, we are always the luckiest…
Carrie Gilbert 2013

How Does a Soul Forget?


How does a soul forget?

Let down and left cold again and again?
I saw my heartbeat before I felt it
The need to love a tragic mess I must have
Unwillingly created as a means of
Solidifying my purpose to be more
than a helpless child turned woman
so few seem to truly see
Yet here I am under the weight
of the patience overspent in me 
And those watching want to embrace
a stranger’s face by assailing a name with pity…
so how do I hold my independence
through the reckoning winds of their doubt
so confident that my words won’t drown them out?
How does a soul forget?
When to give brings more sorrow than regret?
I died in dreams where love tortured my name
I woke up refusing to cry, tears a memory of shame
Into the dreams I created
I fled, there the anguish turned to sadness and abated…
I want to believe despite the broken light 
and the fading of lines written in times
I thought were so precious for we
Though the turn came at the strike of the hour
I still felt this survivor’s strength turn sour  
I know I shouldn’t resist desire’s desperate call,
but when it calls my name, I fight against the fall
until what I want the most
Comforts me too little
To want to know more
Than a twice scared heart has known before…
How does a soul forget?
When to give brings more sorrow than regret?
Carrie Gilbert 2013

Little Girl Broken


Memories brush across my mind

of a little girl once broken
who left it all behind
She wonders at the pain no more
Time won’t allow for that
Her heart so quietly shut the door
no wind moved beneath it
She’s lost her hope in love
for her wings have grown transparent
And she wanted to find patience enough
but in her heart, she knows not how to bear it
Love is a tortuous joy to let go of
once you’ve stepped even an inch within it
…but when you love too much
no one wants to hold you…or be a witness to the violent crash
or bear the blame for your darkness of heart
Memories brush across my mind
of a little girl of hope
whose heart of kindness shined  
She wishes she could be sweet no more
Life won’t welcome that
Her emotions still whisper down deep and implore
Tonight she’ll turn, tonight she’ll run, but this time won’t be the last…
Memories brush across my mind
of a little girl once broken
now a woman, suspended in time…
Carrie Gilbert 2013

Until Love Has Won


Quiet and stillness

Under cold spring sun
Could we release this?
Are we the ones?
You wait for the fall
Where I refuse to rise up
But I know it won’t come
Because
Though strong hearts think they’re not enough
They never unwillingly give up
We will not be broken
Or die out lost stars, scattered fragments of sun
You could hurt this heart beyond repairing 
But I won’t cease to create until love has won
Sunset and cold winds
Under clouds of frozen white
Longing in vain to dance again
Are we afraid of our own songs of night?
Do we let weariness distract from flight?
Darling doubters we linger too long
In your well-meaning sighs
Let’s release bleakness from our sight
Though strong hearts think they’re not enough
They never unwillingly give up
We will not be broken
Or die out lost stars, scattered fragments of sun
…..don’t cease to create until love has won
Carrie Gilbert 2013