The Last Haunting

You were the last haunting

Passed too long to linger

Came through the wall, became my longing

Decided in my leaving to not fight for feelings

as though your feelings were never there

Maybe I’m too much and I don’t spend enough

time beautifying time

and so time someone’s love cannot spare to be mine

My company, silently warm attempts to love

so that they might try loving me

He was the last haunting

I gave away these soul songs and pretty words too soon

For I was still shaping them,  defining direct and dislocated desperate meaning

So as you leave this dream again,

don’t turn your spirited musings back at me

Because fragment man, I don’t understand

You  didn’t even have the decency

to tell me you would only be another haunting

passed much too long to linger

Why would you let such a beautiful dream

slip right through your weary fingers?

Carrie Gilbert 2013

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Love Instead

I’m asking you to forgo the name society framed for you

Be the change they couldn’t arrange

Though in answer to their pains, swore they wanted to

It’s not too late to save your faith, create the world you choose

I’m asking you when doubt creeps in

And the fear wants to win

Be the change and bring the truth you always knew

Don’t let your heart be torn apart by words that stifle you

Because these forgotten voices speak a truth

Many have never thought could be true

Because they cannot even reach half a star

With those weary clouds, heavy gray in emotion

Hovering over their so conceived helpless heads

But if you only come a little closer, all you beautiful souls

I will show you the life of those dreams in your head

So when fear, darkness and despair have your soul feeling dead

You can awaken your heart and choose love instead…

Carrie Gilbert 2013

Stars Aligned

The way she danced was like a dream

and he told her he would always take her hand

That was the way it was

when they were but adventures in a promised land

The little universe they held within

showed them the truth of the world unfurled

Memories made them feel no longer ghosts

Wings of willfulness to share in messages

of joy that might create love

and love that may inspire joy to emerge

The way he sang was like belief

Held back too long, still more since held so long…

Souls combined were like stars that shined,

All aligned….

Carrie Gilbert 2013   

Dream Together

You and I have dreamed together beneath forgotten stars

In the end, we are always the luckiest

Because we let our passions be released

While others would suppress, keep their weary souls in rest.

You and I have loved the songs within our hearts, broken but never defeated

And I learned to have courage enough to sing, because you listened when needed

You save my soul from deep despairing through the waiting nights

You give back dreams when even little hopes have taken flight.

You and I have dreamed together beneath forgotten stars

In the end, we are always the luckiest…

Carrie Gilbert 2013

How Does a Soul Forget?

How does a soul forget?

Let down and left cold again and again?

I saw my heartbeat before I felt it

The need to love a tragic mess I must have

Unwillingly created as a means of

Solidifying my purpose to be more

than a helpless child turned woman

so few seem to truly see

Yet here I am under the weight

of the patience overspent in me 

And those watching want to embrace

a stranger’s face by assailing a name with pity…

so how do I hold my independence

through the reckoning winds of their doubt

so confident that my words won’t drown them out?

How does a soul forget?

When to give brings more sorrow than regret?

I died in dreams where love tortured my name

I woke up refusing to cry, tears a memory of shame

Into the dreams I created

I fled, there the anguish turned to sadness and abated…

I want to believe despite the broken light 

and the fading of lines written in times

I thought were so precious for we

Though the turn came at the strike of the hour

I still felt this survivor’s strength turn sour  

I know I shouldn’t resist desire’s desperate call,

but when it calls my name, I fight against the fall

until what I want the most

Comforts me too little

To want to know more

Than a twice scared heart has known before…

How does a soul forget?

When to give brings more sorrow than regret?

Carrie Gilbert 2013

Little Girl Broken

Memories brush across my mind

of a little girl once broken

who left it all behind

She wonders at the pain no more

Time won’t allow for that

Her heart so quietly shut the door

no wind moved beneath it

She’s lost her hope in love

for her wings have grown transparent

And she wanted to find patience enough

but in her heart, she knows not how to bear it

Love is a tortuous joy to let go of

once you’ve stepped even an inch within it

…but when you love too much

no one wants to hold you…or be a witness to the violent crash

or bear the blame for your darkness of heart

Memories brush across my mind

of a little girl of hope

whose heart of kindness shined  

She wishes she could be sweet no more

Life won’t welcome that

Her emotions still whisper down deep and implore

Tonight she’ll turn, tonight she’ll run, but this time won’t be the last…

Memories brush across my mind

of a little girl once broken

now a woman, suspended in time…

Carrie Gilbert 2013

Until Love Has Won

Quiet and stillness

Under cold spring sun

Could we release this?

Are we the ones?

You wait for the fall

Where I refuse to rise up

But I know it won’t come

Because

Though strong hearts think they’re not enough

They never unwillingly give up

We will not be broken

Or die out lost stars, scattered fragments of sun

You could hurt this heart beyond repairing 

But I won’t cease to create until love has won

Sunset and cold winds

Under clouds of frozen white

Longing in vain to dance again

Are we afraid of our own songs of night?

Do we let weariness distract from flight?

Darling doubters we linger too long

In your well-meaning sighs

Let’s release bleakness from our sight

Though strong hearts think they’re not enough

They never unwillingly give up

We will not be broken

Or die out lost stars, scattered fragments of sun

…..don’t cease to create until love has won

Carrie Gilbert 2013