Displaced Disasters

Tiny displaced disasters

frighten me

in the tangle of night

in twists of wind amongst daylight

 

I am isolated

 

Promise elusively captured

inviting yet not enticing me

silently steering away

directed thought

I am coming together

yet I am whole not

A displaced one who caught

a whisper of her heart

and nothing more

 

Here I gather displaced disasters

finding less time for old hopes

to intersect hereafter…

 

Carrie Gilbert 2017

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Stare

You may not relate

to my existence

composed with

unfamiliar elements

I only grieve

for the comfort

somehow found in ignorance

 

Without the lonely

I might have breathed

out more light

Yet the unknown

are rarely bestowed

kindness without fearful hesitation

or disbelief life is not such a fight

 

I am disheartened how humanity

are not always willing

to carry on together

whether hearts are open

or gifts are evident and rare

they remain stagnant and stare…

Carrie Gilbert 2017

Speak Inside

Does it remain that

the best of intentions

lose to all aforementioned

expressions of your once supposed

eager, waiting love?

 

Is there any time you

speak inside

hoping a true heart might hear?

Did you once realize, or perhaps even care

how

I forgive myself only when all seems clear?

Are you honestly beholden to subside

words whisper by whisper

held forever inside?

Has your soul ever shattered

falling to pieces from the mirror

smoked over in the event

a loving spirit beheld it?

 

I am blind to all I could recall

a foolishly incapable disbeliever

If you don’t speak inside at all

no words are lost; no love existed

and much too long have I spent

grieving for an empty space…

 

Carrie Gilbert 2017

Forced

Forced to leave

with less than love

for the very essence of longing

it hollows out

my self-imparted, ever willing hopes

blurred within ever unfamiliar outskirts

…where I have only reached

with the most self-destructive

delicately dangerous lines of thinking

 

Sleeplessness forces illusions outstanding

to dance all through this expanded darkness

wind torn sounds reminders

of just how often

and with such great force

time foretold those

seemingly abrupt ends

to my dreaming

 

A prisoner of

these enticing little thrills

promise

beckons my breaths by

I cannot loosen my hold

on heartbeats echoing stories untold

 

Forced to leave

with less than enough

I fall into waking

forcing consciousness to forget

life’s reflection though

illusions which entice…

inciting possibilities—

 

Carrie Gilbert 2017

I See the Way

I see the way

where we would have come through

The lights held our sighing…

pouring down our stories from the stars

 

Before the sirens siphoned our hearts

I saw those small reflections

so curious, momentarily

ceasing along their journey

…they wouldn’t know us for a moment or two more

 

and isn’t it a shame

how we forgot what a precious memory was for

 

I see the way

where we would have come through

still I can only ponder the reasons

love has to die and

life alone

we lost must pursue…

 

Carrie Gilbert 2017

Unfed

Colours change—and also still

and time is unchanged; simultaneously mundane

One profound minute collects itself

the moment the previous ceases

while current broken, battling beasts

within lay unfed

 

and I try not to care

as the wounds circle round

as the wounds impound

astounding in my mind

breaking open my head

 

Cold fades—warmth also strays

Familiar deceptions descend

in between my souls depths

shadowing strength’s sinews

starved for nostalgia

 

Memories—I must recall befriend the colours

dissect and resurrect words I barely knew

as I emerge without regard I risk

confusion thieving my name inside night’s abyss

Already I feel the pull of all left unsaid

my one loudest hope to remember

every drop of nourishment needed instead

of those twisted old desperations

Not to walk home with one fragment

so carefully thread

untangled, alone and unfed…

 

Don’t give in

to the woe filled world

of your weary head—

 

Renew yourself

Remain unfed…

Carrie Gilbert 2017