Inconceivable

Those eyes are unbelievable
Made the dance of my imagination beautiful
Their depths are all too cruel
They leave the nothingness inside of you
Your betrayal so inconceivable
When I thought this bond was so invincible
Those words are unbelievable
How could I have fallen back?
Your promises another weapon
Apologies only made to manipulate
A weak and anxious mind
To twist a heart and still reside in peace of mind
That kind of game is inconceivable
How cold you play so unbelievable
The strength you take without a second thought
The hearts you break because you haven’t listened in so long
To your own
The silence in which you made me partake
Through broken spirit barely breaking through
The answers you kept and refused to let me take
The life light I gave too much up of to you
Leaves me listening to the other side of night
Where the dawn never breaks and I’m caught being your fool
And still sometimes I pause and heartbeats stop although I’m strong
And I’m still paralyzed by you
And I can’t breathe and I disbelieve that anything but the darkest love can be true
Those eyes are unbelievable
For even in my imagination, they make me weak enough to crawl, and I long to crawl back to you
At least I ran once my soul was black and blue
And now I run towards a brighter sun which on the edge of night breaks through
And I pray I keep running from this love inconceivable for you
I pray that I am blind to those eyes unbelievable…

Carrie Gilbert 2009

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Hold On, Hold On

When I am asleep
The forgotten stars follow me
With all the clouds I didn’t see
Rolling by so hauntingly
And all too soon I have to wake
Though I want to break
In this hour, it’s nothing but strength or the fall

So I hold on, hold on, while I watch the night burn
I hold on, hold on, to the glory for which my soul yearns
When I wake up
I know these fears have had enough
I can’t tell feeling from memory
I take another mile, in exchange for a smile
I wear so carefully…all the while
I hold on, hold on, for a star not yet known…

Carrie Gilbert 2009

As I Gain Strength

Recently, so delicately
I filled the space between my dreams
I breathe aside of this sky before I fly
I feel the heart of what we have to give
A precious offering in each of us
And I’ll shed these sometimes tears
And ultimately rise and not fall to the heights of strength
So delicately I filled the space between my dreams
The starlit peace surrounding me…

My Soul’s Music

Open up the surface
You show me the truth
So shockingly brilliant
You lead me there
Where I can’t reach in
Reunite me with the voice of passion
Encourage me to breathe out what I am within
And love me just because I am
Your share your strength
Until I am stronger and can see my own again
You are my soul’s music, my heart’s constant
My dearest lifelong friends…

The Endless Return

I’ve not yet reached the end
So far from the sky and I don’t understand
One last try, I’ll speak this one more time
Am I holding back this way?
I know time was meant to send you away

I thought that I would breathe
So distracted by the morning light
If only I could see
My world’s a silent dream
I give my all to fight; abandoned sight
In the endless return to where I’ve been
So much changes while so much never begins

And though I know that only I allow
The fears to all consume me now
I hide from the unknown
This tear’s a welcome home
Let the sky fall, let the earth crumble
To break is all I know
I’m only praying my shame doesn’t show

I’ve not yet reached the end
So far from the sky and I don’t understand

I Can’t Imagine

There’s something, I need to let you know
Something, and I can’t let it go
I’m lonely, in this little world of mine
But these days won’t fall behind
Wear a smile, dance a while
And everything will be just fine

I can’t imagine you away
There’s no compass for this state
So quietly I hold this pain
I can’t believe that I will reach, only sustain
My only pride is my restraint
I can’t imagine you away

The heart set free still waits
For the peace with nothing gained
In the mirror I see the stain
Left from too much hope in vain
But I have ceased all concern
For mountains climbed and lessons learned

I don’t want to believe

Would you ever be there for me
Open wide your arms?
Would your eyes understand or see
My hopes for what they are?
How much longer do I have to run
Until I forget where you are?
Am I ever going to find me
And let go what I’ve lost?

I can’t believe that I will reach, only sustain
My only pride is my restraint

I can’t imagine you away
I can’t imagine you away
I can’t imagine you away

I can’t imagine…

Wear a smile, dance a while
And everything will be just fine