Mattering Mind

What’s the matter with my mattering mind?

she only flees from rain

where the downpour turns fine

These questions I would rather

not hold for query

still the clouds, carrying my grey yesterdays

hold off warmth, closely holding to worry

 

What’s the matter with my mattering mind?

All these words hold such power—

they eat her alive

fight harder each day, confounding memory with time

 

What’s the matter with my mattering mind?

She never remembers these colours of white

unconcerned with shades of love

she never believes may be hers to find

 

What’s the matter with my mattering mind?

for hope’s her most cherished being

to slowly shatter through keeping silent…

 

Why doesn’t my heart know yet

the matter of where my mattering mind went?

 

Carrie Gilbert 2017