Words Consume

Somewhere…lifting my heart

well spent by the search for courage
I run for slower waters
Fighting against my shame, embracing my longings
that expand, then shorten my breath, that fill up and tighten my chest
And from the changing shades moving swiftly and nonetheless painfully within me
I lay out my burdens, no choice left but to share
I tear out my fears and hold them near and in a nightmare, of time unaware
I shout—this is slumber’s breakdown
I must turn
I must forget that I conceived myself a burden
and reconstruct these bended lines
Still first I must address the sullenness behind the shadow’s lies
Somehow…my heart beats create sound again
I am free to be unchained
This chart, mapped upon a nervous heart
has ever bound me to its course
And I must resign to words—formed in the guise of courage
Until courage is no longer my guise…
Until the words consume my being…
Carrie Gilbert 2014

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