Abandon

Off the edge
Not ready to fall
In my mind
Wore through it all
Even the absence of love can be beautiful
When you don’t quite see yourself
And even when it’s clear
Your own heart’s strength reflected in the mirror
You still long to break down the wall
Keeping you safe from the dark

Off the edge
Don’t let me fall
I’m out of answers
Lived through them all
Even the absence of belief can be beautiful
When dreaming catches up with you
And you tear at the pieces to reassemble your soul
To remember you were here
Will the words I feel yet cannot form
Allow me to abandon my fear?

I collapse before I disappear
Off the edge
Not ready to breathe
I turn my memory of you into illusion
So the truth might follow me
Still somehow where I begin is confusion
And I end with hope whispering back to me
Abandoning fear is unresolved and burdening
With a heart half broken through it all
I hope the other half can finally see…

Carrie Gilbert 2010

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